Groaners
Posted: under Morning Laugh.
Okay people….here goes…..these are soooooooooo bad…….they are Groaners
> 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
> ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
>
> 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve
> you, but don’t start anything.”
>
> 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
>
> 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
>
> 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
> says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
>
> 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this
> taste funny to you?”
>
> 7. “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’” “That
> sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” Well, “It’s Not
> Unusual.”
>
> 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
> Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe
> you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.
>
> 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
> to look at either.
>
> 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
>
> 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
> couldn’t find any.
>
> 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
> “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know
> you can’t – I’ve cut off your arms!”
>
> 13. I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.
>
> 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish.
>
> 15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
> says “Dam!”.
>
> 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
> the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t
> have your kayak and heat it too.
>
> 17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
> standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
> After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them
> to disperse.
> “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t
> stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
>
> 18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
> to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family
> in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of
> himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
> husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
> responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”
>
> 19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
> which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
> very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
> suffered from bad breath. This made him ..(Oh, man, this is so bad,
> it’s good)
> ….. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
>
> 20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns
> to friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make
> them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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Mar 09 2008